We all handle stress, grief, worry, etc. differently. This month has been one of those months. March is the anniversary of my Mother-in-law's passing from breast cancer, it is also my wedding anniversary and add to it the diagnosis and schduled heart surgery of grandma #1 and re-marriage of step-grandpa there has been a lot of emotions running through out our house.
K3's reactions to things has been interesting. All of the sudden he is spending a lot of time talking about death and death related things. He is a relatively normal child, he watches a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon so I know he is not really seeing that there. I am assuming this is a result of stress and worry and a tad bit of grief.
Example 1: He has a giant bruise on his calf. I ask what happened, he shrugs and says "Maybe my bone is rotting." WTH?!
Example 2: Sitting on our bed watching t.v. with daddy he starts to have a bloody nose. It's Spring, here in Utah we go from extremes, one minute it is 70° sunny and beautiful the next snow. But we are used to it, K1, DH and my brother all had bloody noses growing up-not really a big thing. A couple of hours later K3 is in the bath. I hear a very quiet but panicked "momma!" and rush in. Another nose bleed. Poor little boy says "I don't want to die!". One of the most pathetic and heart breaking things I have ever heard. Cleaning him up produced a boogie/blood clot that was easily 4-6 inches long. He thought I was pulling his brain out and again panicked just a little.
Example 3: Playing with his GI Joe last night. GI Joe was carrying around a bag---full of dead bodies. Again, WTH?! GI Joe also was hiding in a coffin and killing these "Germans" left and right. I am beginning to wonder what SpongeBob and Phineas and Ferb are really showing that I am missing.
***Something that made my day---Saturday K2 had a soccer game. As some quick back story I can't remember if i mentioned that the soccer coach we were having problems with kicked her off the team. It was heartbreaking but we quickly found a replacement team. She had a wonderful game and played spectacularly! Old coach had a game after hers and as we were walking by and exchanging pleasantries (all be it a little forced on his and my sides) a parent from the new team walked by and said "K2 you were excellent out there today! Such skills, you are so wonderful!" Such sweet vengeance and I didn't plan it so karma shouldn't get me for it. :)
Monday, March 23, 2009
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3 comments:
We went through this recently in January. My grandmother's casket was open before the funeral. It really bothered K and N, particularly N. I hope I don't have to deal with another funeral soon... Hope your little guy gets over this soon!
First off, I love the soccer story! I loved that!
Second. My mom died the same month I got married, so I hear ya. I really feel for your poor little boy. Death can seem so scary. My mom died from breast cancer and I've talked about it with the kids but she died before any of them were born. THey haven't tasted death like some have. It's a hard thing.
It sounds worrying when you list everything together but children process things funny. I think if you are prepared to have open and honest discussions with him he will come around. In the meantime, try to keep his schedule as normal as possible in all of this bedlam and curl up with a cute book or movie together whenever you can.
We had to deal with some horrible losses when Buddy Budderson was very young and he had some similar reactions. He really over-reacted when his video game characters died.
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